Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it. And Jews a little bit.”, “I’m 47; my girlfriend’s 33. she’s 14 years younger than me. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read. The power of positive thinking and positive self-talk is profound. Here are 20 of his finest quotes to tide you over: “All this wine nonsense! Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. Can’t wait to get home and watch on NOW TV? As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. Cashback! Ooh, that’s a snazzy bouquet.

Sometimes I feel like going out, stealing a traffic cone, putting it on my head, and saying, “Look at me, I’m a giant witch.”, I’ve got a couple of kids. Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed up Dundee cake, let’s take a look… not a trace! You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. I've had one panic attack in a car wash. You get all these wine people, don’t you? I’ll tolerate one, but not both.”, “You know what this room says to me? I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child.

The hapless TV and radio presenter, a man with no social skills whose entire job relies on having good social skills, remains ever popular 25 years since he sprang out of Norwich. This famous Alan Partridge quote was used to describe Ireland and its people. Alan Partridge is a fictional character portrayed by English comedian Steve Coogan. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him.

Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off! Top one!” “You’re listening to North Norfolk Digital. The world's defining voice in music and pop culture since 1952. Alan Partridge quotes were a hit in the early 90s when the character was established. Whether you’re new to the wonderful world of Partridge, or want to catch up on the old classics, NOW TV are offering a free two-week trial, where you can indulge in all the Partridge you could ever want. It’s like being inside an enormous Fox’s Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus.”, “Go to London, I guarantee you’ll either be mugged or not appreciated. Also, I'll be asking: Which is the worst monger?

Ah, it’s a lifesaver, you know. Titanic is known for being a tragedy, and no one ever talks about the good times that they experienced before the ship sunk. Cook a cat! The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding, in this case, is football. As what Marcus Aurelius said: “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive … Lynn's a good worker, but she's a bit like Bert Reynolds.

Actually, the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife.

Back of the net. Partly it’s because the man is eminently, hilariously quotable. As long as you’ve not been a NOW TV subscriber in the past, you can binge Mid Morning Matters and enjoy I’m Alan Partridge for the next fortnight. But if I said I am now going to jump into a TARDIS, go back in time and recreate the Berlin Olympics with these three old women, you'd say "Alan, that is hot, we were wrong earlier.".

While it is as dark and insulting as most of his jokes were, it is, in a way, a compliment to the positive changes in the country. He made fun of serious issues such as AIDS, homosexuality, trans people, war, and even tragedies. Inner-city Sumo With Alan Partridge. Mid Morning Matters . Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. Back of the net. But not too informal; it's not Nigel Pinsent's "In Depth", but neither is it Wally Banter's Junk-Box He was showing his distaste for smoking and those that do by threatening that they might have lung cancer. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway.”, “My face was designed as a leisure accessory.”, “That was ‘Big Yellow Taxi’ by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they ‘Paved paradise to put up a parking lot’, a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn’t quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world.

Aqua. This quote was in reference to the up and down motion used during lovemaking. I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you.

Behrami has been all over the field this half, He will need two sugars in his tea and an oxygen tank at half time. Nevertheless, nice song.”, “There’s never any graffiti in the hotel. This was said to a self-defence expert who was trying to show the broadcaster how to defend himself.

She is a drunk racist. She’s a drunk racist. Well, we’re not, you are. Alan Partridge just doesn’t die. Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!… That, was a goal! If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Alan Partridge also stared in more shows such as: Alan Partridge coined the 'Aha' catchphrase on the 90s show Knowing Me, Knowing You. Everyone's here. Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe.

I realised I had nothing to worry about. This page was last edited on 26 November 2019, at 17:01. Which is French for water. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. Only Christians.

Leave your email to receive our newsletter, Get the hottest stories from the largest news site in Nigeria, Drop your mail and be the first to get fresh news, 30 of the best Doctor Who quotes that prove why the show is iconic, Top 15 feel good movies to watch on Netflix right now, Check out this list of 15 best psychological thrillers of all time, Interesting Pulp Fiction quotes that the film's fans will love, M.I Abaga - The Viper will give you goosebumps, Interesting Rick and Morty quotes that you will enjoy. Our latest collection of morning quotes to help you start the day with excitement and gratitude. Looks like a woman, but really it's a man.

He’s not left the screen for long since, even starring in feature-length movie Alpha Papa in 2013. I’m one of the anti-cancer set. I wish I’d be a bit more spontaneous. It's just, it's in my picture. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary.

You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. And now he’s back, having promised to return as ‘the voice of Brexit’ in a new series on the BBC next year; but if you, like us, can’t wait until 2018 to get your fix of legendary presenter, NOW TV have got you sorted. Back of the net. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. Not only does he make fun of both, but he goes further to insinuate that food can help erase the hurt and anger caused by both.

The man was a perfect gentleman. The things we think of early in our day are most often what sets the tone for the entire day. Oh, this smells of, I don’t know, basil.
You know what this room says to me? Yes! As long as you’ve not been a NOW TV subscriber in the past, you can binge Mid Morning Matters and enjoy I’m Alan Partridge for the next fortnight. Only Christians. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Back of the net!”, “Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people forget that on the Titanic’s maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg.”, “Quick tip for yourself: if you’re ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say “My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I’m late, I just popped to the toilet. Lynn, get rid of her. I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. What better way to start each morning that reading some highly motivational quotes.